


Pick Up the Pieces and Make Something New

by Cannibal_Wings



Category: Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Venom (Comics)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mentions of Cancer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cannibal_Wings/pseuds/Cannibal_Wings
Summary: This fic is loosely set sometime after Eddie sold Venom and before the attack on F.E.A.S.T by Mac. It's a hypothetical "what if?" scenario where Flash's life fell to pieces and Eddie helps him get back on track. In return Eddie finds that Flash makes life worth living for again.I'm pulling the design and layout for F.E.A.S.T out of the PS4 Spider-Man game, because it was beautiful.





	Pick Up the Pieces and Make Something New

-F.E.A.S.T (Food, Emergency Aid, Shelter, and Training) Center, 8:00PM, October 20th.-

Eddie was making his bed when he saw Mrs. Parker walking towards him. A young man in a wheelchair was following beside her. Eddie had never seen the other man, but that wasn’t particularly uncommon, he didn’t know many of the people who stayed at FEAST. He was trying to learn everyone’s names, but it was overwhelming. 

Mrs. Parker greeted him and said, “Good evening Eddie, how was your shift today?”

“Oh, it was great, everything went well. We didn’t have a shortage tonight, in fact some people were even able to get seconds.” 

“Wonderful, our new supply chains are really pulling through.” She smiled and turned her attention to the man beside her. “This is Flash Thompson, he’s a new resident as of tonight. I figured he could use the spare bed under yours?” 

“Oh, yeah, of course. If you’re uh, sure that’s wise.” 

She dismissed Eddie’s concerns with a wave of her hand. “Stop being so hard on yourself Eddie. You’ve been wonderful, most everyone loves you.” Mrs. Parker stepped aside and said, “Flash I want you to meet Eddie Brock.” 

The name sounded familiar to Flash but he couldn’t place it. He stuck out his hand and the other gripped it with a strength he wasn’t expecting. “Nice to meet you, name’s Flash. Looks like I’m bunking with you for now.” 

“First “roommate” I’ve had,” Eddie replied. “Hope you don’t snore,” he added with a smile. 

“I’ll let Eddie show you around, it’s not much, but it’s home for many who don’t have one.” She put a hand on Flash’s shoulder. “I hope we can help you get back on your feet, so to speak. You’re a good man, I take back many of the poor things I’ve thought of you.” 

Flash looked down and said, “You don’t have to do that Mrs. Parker. I did more than enough to earn them.” He met her eyes and said, “Thanks for not telling Pete, I don’t want him to know, not yet, not from a second party.” 

“Of course. You boys and your pride. Someday you’ll learn to lean on each other. Right now, just focus on you. I’m sure Eddie will tell you more, but we run group therapy several times a week. Get settled in, things have been rough but they’re bound to get better.” 

After May walked away Eddie finished tucking in his bed sheets and blanket and watched Flash toss a backpack onto his bed. “Let me clear away some of my stuff,” Eddie said and started to move books off of his bed. “There’s a dollar bookstore not too far from here,” he explained. “I like to treat myself every week and indulge in a new book.” He placed them on a small plastic side table and added, “I was using your bed as a table, wasn’t really expecting any bunkmates.” 

Flash undid some bungee cords that were holding a cylindrical duffle bag to the front of his chair, where legs would go if he had any. He threw the bag onto his bed as well. “Yeah you mentioned I’m your first. Are you new here?” 

“No, old. Well, not old old, But I’ve been here almost a year. I just… have a reputation. People aren’t comfortable with that.” 

“Reputation? Did you kill someone? Ex con?” 

“Something like that,” Eddie said grabbed one of the extra pillows off of his bed to put on Flash’s. “I just make people really uncomfortable.” 

“Huh, well, you don’t seem all that bad at first glance,” he said and slid a flatter suitcase under the bed from a storage compartment under his chair. From his backpack he pulled out a small framed picture of his mother, Betty and himself at Christmas. He sighed and ran a few fingers over the glass. “I guess I know a thing or two about making people uncomfortable.” The picture was put on his small bedside table.Next to it he placed a small figurine of Spider-Man. His hand rested on the box that contained his medal, he didn’t pull it out and left it in his bag. 

Eddie spoke up, “You can unpack later, let's get you familiar with the place.” He motioned for Flash to follow and after a moment's hesitation he did. “When do you want to eat? Before or after the tour? You missed dinner but we can scrounge something up from the kitchen.” 

“After? Does it matter?” 

“Not really, up to you. After if fine.” Eddie gestured to the main room, “This is obviously where everyone sleeps, it's also where we hang out, socialize. There are a few T.V.’s located around the perimeter. One is kept on the news at all times. There are a few tables for chess, a couple of worn down couches. Most of us just hang out by our beds. Lights out is at ten, lights on at six, but you don’t have to wake up or go to sleep at those times. Just be quiet and respectful at lights out. There are a few rooms on the third floor that stays open all night for those of us who have problems sleeping or are just night owls.” 

“I see. Is there an elevator to the third floor?” 

“Yup, two of them, one on each side of the building. We’ll be using them to get up to the other floors.” There was a wall of glass and Eddie gestured to it, “That’s the lunchroom, caf, whatever you want to call it. People use the tables for other things besides eating, like doing paperwork and stuff. Behind it is the kitchen.” Eddie added, “That’s where I work.” To the right of the dining area Eddie pointed out the laundry room. “We have laundry machines, they’re like fifty cents a wash and twenty five cents to dry, but there are a few free machines if you don’t mind waiting. The big ones on the left are for FEAST bedding, towels, stuff like that. If you need your blankets washed just let someone on staff know, they’ll help you out.” 

“Got it,” Flash wheeled in a bit to look around. There were a few people folding laundry and another waiting for a load to be done. “This is really nice, being able to do your laundry. I wasn’t expecting anything like this to be honest.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie couldn’t stop a smile. “This place surprises a lot of people.” He couldn’t stop a bit of pride from welling up, he loved being a part of this. Finally he felt like he was doing some actual good in the world. “The women’s restroom is here, the men’s is down the hall, here follow me, it’s more than just toilets, the showers are also inside.” 

Flash followed and Eddie pushed the door button so it stayed open for them to go through. “Oh this is nice too,” Flash remarked. There were two low-set sinks and all the showers had bench seats on at least one wall. There were also three wheelchair accessible toilets with rails.

“There’s a dispenser on the wall for soap, shampoo and shaving cream. It gives you like, little travel sized portions. You can buy bigger ones from the FEAST store, which I’ll show you soon. The showers aren’t timed, so don’t be afraid of that. Just don’t take too long.” When they exited the bathroom Eddie gestured down the hall, “That goes back to the main room. But we’re going to head over this way.” 

“How many people can FEAST take in?” 

“Hmmm, a hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty if we pull out the inflatable sleeping mats. We try not to be at capacity so we can take in emergency cases.” Eddie continued, “Our most pressing issues are food. We get walk ins that just show up for a meal, then there are our residents who depend on us for food and shelter. We’ve often found ourselves stretched far too thin for resources. Mrs. Parker has been working with more local restaurants, grocers and farmers markets to funnel waste food our way. We also supply the veterans shelter across town.” 

“There’s a veteran’s shelter?” 

“Yeah, you’ve never heard of it?” Then it clicked for Eddie. “Oh. You. Oh.” 

Flash laughed a bit. “Yeah I did two tours overseas. Not sure why I went back a second time. Still not sure if I made the right choice, but what’s done is done. What’s lost is lost.” 

“I almost argued that not everything lost is truly lost… but in this case…” Eddie paused the conversation had become very awkward.

Flash sensed the shift, it had happened many times before and said, “Yeah I don’t think I’ll be getting my legs back any time ever. But the sentiment is nice.” They walked down the back hall and past two rooms that Eddie explained were shipping and receiving and storage. Then they came to a corner that had a staircase, an elevator, and another hallway. “What’s down here?” 

“The store, main counseling, first aid, and the daycare is the last room. This hallway empties back into the lobby, near the donations counter.” Eddie produced a ring of keys and unlocked the store door. “Store’s closed right now but if you want to take a peek inside you can.”

Flash took him up on the offer and looked around inside. It had a little bit of everything, plain shirts, some sweatpants, packaged underwear and socks, a few ties, and a couple of dress shirts. Then there were toiletries, washcloths and towels, hairbrushes, razors, tissues and face wipes. Seemed to be a little bit of everything. He examined some of the prices and raised an eyebrow. “It’s all so cheap?” 

“FEAST buys wholesale and we don’t sell to make a profit. So everything is priced at or under what we paid for it. Our income is based on donations, we don’t want to make customers out of the people we’re supposed to be helping.” 

To Flash it was another thing to admire about this shelter. He was glad he reached out and contacted May to get a space. “Could I look at the counseling room?” 

“Of course, you can look at whatever you want, this tour is for you after all,” Eddie said as he locked up the store. As they walked to the room Eddie asked, “Are you interested in some of the programs? FEAST offers several different counseling services including a few group therapy sessions.” He hoped he didn’t sound too much like a salesperson. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Flash said as he looked around the room. There were pamphlets and self help books along one wall, a coffee machine and paper cups on another. A ring of chairs claimed the middle space. 

Eddie prompted, “Have you gone to therapy before?” He wasn’t sure of this man’s history, he could just be unlucky or there could be something else going on that he wasn’t aware of. 

“Something like that,” Flash said in a non answer. “Do you have to check out the books with anyone?” 

“No, just bring them back when you’re done so someone else can read them.” 

Flash looked up at the bookcases. “What if I need help getting one down?” 

“Flag down a staff member, they’ll be happy to assist you in any way they can. Though,” Eddie put a hand to his mouth and furrowed his brows. “We probably should renovate so that all the books we have are on low to reach shelving.” He looked around the room and mumbled, “We’d have to shift some things around to make up for the increased space the cases would take up but…” He then pulled out a small notebook from his back pocket and scribbled some things down with a pen.

“What does first aid offer?” 

“It’s not a replacement for a doctor if that’s what you’re asking. They have bandaids, gauze, disinfectant, stuff like that. A few beds to lie down on. We have a little bit of medicine, cold, pain relief, allergy. But medicine is expensive and doesn’t get donated often. A few times a year we get a doctor or a dentist to free or reduced cost check ups in the room. And I think they still do stitches on large cuts. But like I said, not a replacement for a doctor.” He smiled and said, “Actually, the most common visitors are the children from the daycare next door who play a bit too rough.” 

“Do you like kids?” Flash asked. 

“Yeah. I’m terrible with them, but they’re innocents you know? We have a few families here, mostly single mothers, and it’s rough seeing them here day after day. But you know? They rarely complain. These kids are troopers.” 

They made their way back to the elevator and Eddie hit the call button. There wasn’t a wait, the elevator must have been on their floor already. He held the door while Flash maneuvered his chair in. He watched as the other man popped up the front to do a quick turn. “Pretty good an maneuvering in that huh?” 

“You have to be,” Flash replied. “These wheels have to be my new legs.” He watched Eddie press the button for the second floor. “There’s a basement?” Flash asked and pointed to the B1 button. 

“It’s mostly storage and a storm shelter. I highly doubt New York City will ever get a tornado, but laws are laws so we have a basement for hazardous weather. They exited the elevator and Eddie pointed to their right. “That’s the chapel. It’s non denominational, but its open to any faith if you need somewhere to pray or reflect.” Eddie opened the door but noticed Flash wasn’t too interested in looking around inside. “Are you a praying man?” Eddie asked. 

Flash shrugged. “Nah, gave up on that a while ago. Not my thing, but I won’t bash others who still have faith. If it helps someone find peace who I am to judge? Probably a lot healthier than what I’ve been doing.” They passed by the church and Flash asked, “What about you? You religious?” 

“Yeah, catholic. I fell out of faith a while back, but I think I found it again. Not… not like before but better, less obsessive. I’ve made good with a lot of things, that’s helped. Now I pray not out of fear but because it helps me, as you said, find peace.” 

“I’m glad you found something,” Flash said. He said a little softer, “I hope I find something someday.” 

Infront of the chapel was a seating area that reminded Flash of a cafe. There were tables with high chairs arranged around an open seating area that overlooked both the main sleeping room and the kitchen. There was another coffee machine on a table, a hot water heater for tea, and several fridges with glass doors that had bottled juice. “That free?” Flash asked. 

“Yeah, anything you see laying out is free. Just don’t get greedy.” Eddie pointed further down the hall to their right. “Mrs. Parker’s office is down at the other end of the walkway. Our Director, Li, his office is just around the corner. Between Parker’s office and here is our ongoing education room. They provide job assistance, help with resumes, applying for housing, schools, other government aid. You’ll probably be spending a fair bit of time in there.” 

They got back in the elevator and went to third floor where Eddie showed him where the quiet rooms were, the night owl rooms, and another lounge. “The fourth and fifth floors are mostly offices, records, storage, and we have a few rooms available for rent for people transitioning between here and a place of their own. And a couple of bigger rooms for full families.” 

“This place is incredible,” Flash said. “And it doesn’t cost a dime.” 

“Nope. But there is a rather long wait list. You’re lucky you got in honestly. As I said before we can’t take in everyone, no matter how much we want to.” They took the elevator back to the ground floor and Eddie opened up the kitchen. “What do you want for dinner? I can dig around for leftovers or make you a sandwich or something.” 

“Sandwich is fine I guess.” Flash looked around the kitchen, most everything was cleaned up and put away. Probably in preparation for the next day. They had a few fridges and freezer chests. Three sets of stoves, ovens, and a few large microwave ovens. Of course they also had a bank of sinks and racks of dishes. Eddie was moving through one of the fridges and was pulling out various produce. 

“Got any allergies?” 

“Negative.” 

“Picky eater?” 

Flash chuckled. “I’m homeless, I don’t think I can afford to be.” He watched Eddie cut a tomato up, and a small sweet pepper. 

“We get fresh produce donated by the local farmer’s market,” Eddie explained. “They give us their unsellable or damaged produce and in return we can provide meals with fresh instead of frozen or canned veggies. In the winter we rely on donated frozen and canned foods or grocery store donations of unsold produce.” He chopped an onion next and pulled out a brick of cheese and some pre packaged lunch meat. “Here you are, one deluxe sandwich.” 

“Thanks,” Flash took the plate and looked at the sandwich. “This is probably the best looking thing I’ve had to eat all month.” 

“Mmm,” Eddie said and sat down on one of the stools. “Now that’s just sad. I’ll cook you something better tomorrow for dinner.” 

“Is that what you do?” Flash asked. “Cook?” 

“I cook, clean, and work the food line. I mean, I do other things too. Whatever they ask really.” Eddie picked up a smaller sandwich Flash wasn’t even aware he made and took a bite. “They’ve been so generous in taking me in, I do whatever is asked.” He took another bite, chewed, and swallowed. “I even get a small paycheck. I refused for a while but Li and May were insistent.” 

“So you’re more like a live in worker?” 

“I guess? If you want to look at it that way. But I don’t want any special treatment, that’s why I’m still in the main hall.” Eddie cleaned up the small amount of dishes they had from dinner and escorted Flash back to their bunk. “Do you need help unpacking?” 

“Nah, don’t have much.” Flash pulled out a small stuffed Spider-Man plush and put it on his pillow. He caught Eddie making a face. “Hey, don’t laugh. He’s my personal hero.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what you could see in Spider-Man.” 

“Hey!” Eddie looked back at Flash who seemed genuinely upset. “Spider-Man inspired me to not be such a fucking shit-bag. Clean up my act. He saved me both literally and figuratively. He does so much for this city and I won’t-” He cut himself off. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. Think what you want. Because apparently he didn’t save me enough if this is where I ended up.” 

“I-Hey I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” He trailed off as Flash sat on his bed, back to him. “I’m just… sorry.” There wasn’t a response and Eddie climbed up to his bed with a book. _Great, way to go Brock. You’re soooo good at this making friends thing. You just had to cock it up didn’t you?_ He was angry with himself and opened his book. _Insult your new bunkmate’s personal hero. Fantastic. Get over yourself. Spider-Man didn’t ruin your life asshole, you did._ He thought he was over this childish knee jerk hatred of Spider-Man but apparently he wasn’t. He sighed and tried to focus on the words on the page but he was upset at himself. Eddie figured the guy would probably request someone new by tomorrow. Then he’d be back to being alone. That wasn’t something he wanted at all. Eddie poured his frustration onto the fictional characters he was reading about soon got lost in the story. 

He didn’t hear that someone was speaking his name until a pillow was tossed up at him from below. He blinked and sat up. “Hey,” Flash said from below. “Could I borrow some of your soap? And maybe shampoo? I want to take a shower but I don’t have anything on me.” Eddie raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise. “I smell kinda funky and don’t want to stink up a fresh bed.” 

“O-Oh sure, yeah, no problem. He put his bookmark in place and climbed down the ladder. He tossed the pillow back at Flash who caught it. 

“You were pretty absorbed in that book huh?” 

“Yeah, I get like that. I also didn’t think you’d want to talk to me.” 

Flash forced a smile. “Man, Mrs. Parker was right, you do judge yourself too harshly. I’m in a mood, it wasn’t your fault I snapped. I’ve been snapping at people a lot lately.” 

Eddie dug around in his toiletry bag and handed Flash a bar of soap. “I don’t uh, have hair, so no shampoo, sorry.” 

“Oh! I’m… I wow, I didn’t think…” He rubbed the back of his head. “Man, this is almost as awkward as the time my aunt got me socks for Christmas.” Flash put himself back on his chair and added, “Sometimes I don’t think before I speak. My bad.” He started to wheel away and suddenly something covered his head and face. He reached up and found it to be a towel. 

“You’re going to need one of those too.” Eddie walked over and dropped a spare sleep shirt he had onto Flash’s lap and a pair of stretchy shorts. “These should fit. No point in de-stinking yourself if you’re just going to put back on funky clothes.” 

“Fair point. Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Eddie said. “I can only wear one set at a time after all. We can wash your clothes tomorrow.” He waved Flash off and climbed the ladder back to his bed. 

\---

It was late at night when Eddie heard his new bunkmate gasp awake. Clearly shaken, must have been a nightmare. He was familiar with those. Eddie turned the page of his book, his small LED reading light clipped over the hardback. He was set to ignore it, the poor guy probably didn't want anyone to know in first place. Eddie wasn't fond of people coddling him after one his nightmares. But then he heard the quick shallow breaths of someone trying desperately not to cry.

"Hey," Eddie said as he put his book down and peered down to the bottom bunk. "You ok?"

The other man, Flash, that was his name, Flash looked up, eyes wide and wet. "Just a dream," he slurred through tiredness and threatening sobs.

Eddie sat up and looked around it was still late, probably not even two in the morning. "You want to talk about it?" He asked. He was expecting a no and was surprised at the yes. "Not here, don't wake anyone up. TJ gets grumpy when you wake him up." Eddie climbed down the ladder and waited for Flash to climb into his chair. He tossed Flash a blanket for his lap and took one of his own for his shoulders. "Follow me."

They made their way as quietly as they could through the organized chaos that was the FEAST main room. In the corner there was a dull blue illumination from a T.V. there were plenty of people who found it difficult to go to sleep every night. They were all haunted by something. Eddie caught a glimpse of Venom, his reflection, in the glass as they moved past the kitchen. 

Eddie held the door to the elevator open for Flash to wheel in. Then he pressed the top button. "There's hardly anyone on the roof at this time," Eddie explained. "I head up there to think, and to clear my head. It does the job pretty well."

Flash frowned. "The button doesn't say roof access." 

"Relax, there's a ramp to the door. Emergency protocol demanded it. I wouldn't bring you somewhere you couldn't even go."

"Wouldn't be the first time someone had," Flash said. Eddie could taste the bitterness in his words on his own tongue.

The elevator dinged and once more Eddie held it while Flash exited. The floor was dark but they followed the illuminated "roof access" signs to the outside. 

Instantly the chilly air hit them caused both men to suck in a breath. "Maybe October wasn't the best time to suggest this," Eddie said with a laugh. He walked over to the edge and sat down. Flash wheeled up beside him. "There are suicide nets all around the roof, that's why the door isn't locked. I'm sure there's a way around them but most people lose the will to jump after the net catches them."

"Does... does that happen often?"

"Often enough," Eddie replied.

"What's your story?" Flash asked. "Is that ok to ask?"

Eddie chuckled. "My story is too long for one night, but the most recent chapters are probably what you're asking about." He glanced over and forced a smile, he hoped someday he wouldn't have to force one. "Consider it an exclusive spoiler for this week's group session. I uh, I don't wear this bandana as a fashion statement. I have cancer, adrenal. It hasn't metastasized but the doctors say when it does I'm done for. Not if it does," he added, "when it does. I wasn't taking well to chemo and then money ran out for further treatment. Ended up here and May Parker, bless her heart, gave me a bed and a job. It's our unspoken agreement that I'll work here until I die." Eddie shrugged and tightened the blanket around his shoulders. There were worse ways and places to die.

"What about you? What brings you here?"

"I'm an alcoholic," he said. "Those words, that admission used to be so hard. Now it rolls off the tongue like cheap booze. Relapsed, my friends and family were tired of picking up the pieces of good ol' Flash Thompson every time I shattered. And I don't blame them." He glanced over at Eddie who thankfully wasn't looking at him. "I went too far last time, in a drunken rage I did something I regret. Lost my job, missed a few months rent, and got my crippled ass booted to the curb. I don't know if it's pride, or fear that I pushed everyone away who could possibly care about me... But I didn't reach out. Didn't even try. Not sure if I deserve it."

Eddie frowned. "Everyone is deserving of help."

"Everyone? Ha, yeah right. Sounds good out loud but in theory? Not so much." He rested his chin on his palm and finished his story. "Spent a few nights on the street, decided I didn't actually want to die with a knife between my ribs and came here. I know May Parker, was friends with her boy Peter, after I was done beating on him in high school. She is the one who hooked me up with that bed below yours. Generous lady. Not sure I deserve her kindness."

"Got a plan?"

"Besides buying a bottle of whiskey and drowning my liver? No not really. Attend group therapy I guess. Try to crawl out of the hole I dug."

Eddie nodded. "It's all we can do. And here I thought you were here because of your legs."

"That would be a fair guess. Nah, I was an alcoholic long before that happened. My legs are actually a recent addition, or I guess subtraction, in my life."

Eddie snorted. "Was that supposed to be a joke?"

"Got you to laugh."

"Guess it did." They looked out over the city for countless moments. Eddie wasn't a native born New Yorker but sometimes he felt like he was. "What was your dream about?"

"Mmm, I'd rather not say." Flash glanced over at Eddie who still wasn't looking at him. His cloudy blue eyes were looking out over the horizon. "But since you have to deal with me I guess I'll let you know. The dreams are either one of two things. Thing one, war. Explosions, blood, gore, people with melting faces and chests like Swiss cheese. The other is that I'm drowning. Not in water, not in blood, but cheap liquor. I try to hold out, try to fight it, but then the burning liquid always wins and it fills my lungs and I fall into darkness."

"Oof," Eddie said. "Not fun."

"No, not really. You dream?"

"Not if I can help it. It's why i was reading."

Flash said casually, "You're haunted too?"

Eddie nodded. "We're a good pair then."

"Which flavor was tonight's nightmare?"

"Black cherry chocolate." He waited to see if Eddie would chuckle. He did. "It was the drowning in alcohol one. This time with added echoes of my father's disappointing voice."

"Oh don't tell me we have daddy issues in common too?"

Flash smiled. "Your dad not a winner either?"

"There is a reason I'm here and not in some hospital somewhere getting fancy treatments. I don't think I'll even call him on my deathbed. He can get a letter in the mail regarding my passing. Doubt he'll even open it."

"My dad's not that cold. We've had our fights, tried to put the past behind us. Somedays it works, others it doesn't. He cares, just not enough, or not correctly, a bit too late. Sometimes I'm ashamed that I let him down by only being a war hero."

"You're a hero? No shit?"

"Shiny medal and everything." Flash joined his gaze to whatever Eddie was looking at. "Too bad you can't eat medals or crisp uniforms."

"I always wanted to be a hero," Eddie admitted. "Those days are long past for me, but I always wanted to be one."

"A hero like Spider-Man or-"

"Ugh not Spider-Man yuck."

Flash huffed. "What is your deal with… What's wrong with- it doesn't matter. Like Captain America then?"

"I guess. Maybe I set my sights too high. Maybe I don't have to be a super super hero, but just a good guy."

"You aren't one of those right now?"

"Nah, but I'm trying."

"Hey, it's a start."

Eddie asked, “You worked on your issues before then? Said you relapsed.” 

“Relapsing, actuall,” he corrected. “Yeah I’ve done group therapy before, personal therapist, a therapist the army gave me fresh after the accident. Grief counseling. You know they treat losing your legs like you lost a loved one? Anyways, was a member of a local AA group, didn’t pan out, I stopped going.” 

“Why?” 

“Got a new leader, became too religious for my taste. Should have found another with a different slant. Doesn’t matter much now.” 

Eddie grunted, “I think it still matters. You should give it all a go. Shouldn’t waste the time you have left.” 

“Time…” Flash hesitated before he asked, “How much time do you have?” He wasn’t even sure if that was an appropriate thing to ask someone with cancer. 

Eddie shrugged under the blanket. “I stopped going to check ups so it's a mystery. I could drop dead tomorrow or three years from now. At the time of my initial diagnosis I was given two to five years. It’s been a year since then and I took terribly to chemo so let's assume I won’t get to five. Another year seems reasonable. But with no knowledge of the cancer’s progression it’s really anyone’s guess.” 

“I want to ask something else,” Flash said quietly. “But I don’t know if it’s appropriate. We did just meet.” 

“Go for it,” Eddie said. “I’m an open book… for the most part.” 

“Are you scared?” 

“Of what? Dying?” Eddie looked over to see Flash nod. “Yeah, I think I am.” The moon was fairly bright and lit up his face in all the ways he didn’t want it to. “I used to think I wasn’t afraid, then I was so afraid I could hardly stand it. Now I’m just… it’s going to happen. I’m fearful not of dying, but of what happens after.” 

“I think we all are,” Flash said, still quiet. “I’ve looked death in the eye so many times. I’m not a hero, despite what the papers said, what my comrades said, I’m not brave. I’m just stupid, stupid and at the time… not afraid to throw my life away.” He gripped the fabric over what remained of his legs. “But sitting in the hospital bed, going over the events that put me there. I realized some things. And I figured out that maybe I am afraid to die. Maybe I’m really damn afraid.” 

Eddie said, “I know you said earlier that you’re not religious but do you think there’s a heaven? A hell?” 

“I dunno. I would hope there is if you believe in it.” 

“See, I believe in it, and I’m scared I won’t be going there.” 

“Why?” 

Eddie didn’t answer. Flash wasn’t sure if that was worse or not. “I don’t want to go back inside,” he admitted. Even though he was getting cold. “I don’t want to be alone either, not with my thoughts. Not right now. Do you think… you could sit with me a little longer?” He knew it was asking a lot of someone he didn’t really know. 

“Yeah,” was the reply he got back from Eddie. “Yeah I can stay with you. As long as you want.” Eddie could tell from expression on his face that the man was haunted. He was haunted too. Not by the same demons, not exactly, but by some familiar faces. 

Maybe Eddie was jumping the gun, maybe he was putting the cart before the horse, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, they could help each other overcome those demons.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter done!  
> I hope you all enjoyed it. 
> 
> I'm fairly new to writing Eddie and Flash so any critique is always helpful. I love reading comments so if you have questions, or anything, don't hesitate to let me know.  
> I really want to focus on more shorter, personal type chapters that chronicle their relationship from start to... well whenever I decide to finish. Its also very weird to be writing these two without the Symbiote. Non OT3 fics are weird huh?


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